“Last week, I told my wife, ‘I need a home improvement loan.’ She gave me a thousand dollars to move out.” | Rodney Dangerfield
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1.2M views · 222 reactions | “I’m ugly, I’m tellin’ ya. My proctologist, he stuck his finger in my mouth.” | Rodney Dangerfield | Facebook
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297K views · 8.5K reactions | “No respect at all, are you kidding? I was arrested for jaywalking. The crowd kept yelling, ‘Don't take him alive!’” | Rodney Dangerfield | Facebook
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“In my neighborhood there’s always problems. On my block there’s a beautiful children’s zoo. Last week four kids escaped.” | Rodney Dangerfield
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615K views · 21 reactions | “The last time I made love to my wife it was ridiculous. Nothing was happening. I looked at her, I said ‘What’s the matter, can’t you think of anyone either?’” | Rodney Dangerfield | Facebook
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1.4M views · 28K reactions | “I can’t lose any weight. I tried jogging, I keep running into restaurants.” | Rodney Dangerfield | Facebook
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“My wife, what a lousy cook. I mean, how can toast have bones?” | Rodney Dangerfield
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43K views · 404 reactions | Mark Schiff tells two great Rodney Dan…
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